To · be · a · sailor · of · the · world.

I am moving out on the 4th and am pretty damned excited. I have never lived out of home. My room is bare at the moment and looking a little sad, but things are going to be good.

new tattoos are lovely

I've been up since 4:30 am. It's an ungodly hour.

I want that baby hippo.

blarghhhhhhhhhhhh.
sleepy

Cigarettes are like a kinder surprise. Except you don't get chocolate and the surprise is CANCER.

I know this is a tad delayed but I think it needs to be said. Australia got gypped by Big Brother this year!!

The ads drew you in telling the nation that there was to be a world first. So on sunday night I tuned in well and truely hooked only to be told that the world first was that there was to be two people who were in a relationship on the outside entering the house. The nation held it's breath, the audience drew in a shocked gasp and I sat on my mums bed thinking "WHAT THE FUCK??!".
If my memory serves me correctly this is most definately NOT a world first, to be honest if my memory serves me correctly, why it was only 6 months ago that 2 brothers won the Big Brother series. May I remind you all of Logan Greg and Logan David. Ahhhhhh yes, the twins who entered the house last year. Now call me crazy but I do believe that being blood brothers would classify them as being in a sibling relationship. Might I highlight the word RELATIONSHIP!

So to sum up, the Big Brother world first was a load of wank.

I have a new job. I am working in the news kiosk at Perth trainstation.
I like it there. The people are nice and they play music.
I sold a cross dresser some lotto.
His beard gave him away.
Attention to details people!!

Dear live journal,
I nearly cried on a bus today.
I have been seeing someone in the city which has left me physically sick.
I had an ex-prisoner come on to me.
I miss spending time with my dad.
I got an email that made me feel bad all over again.

I think I want to see my family in England and cuddle my cousin and tell her everything is going to be alright.

My faith in little old ladies has been shaken. I have been doing some volunteer work with my mum at a retirement village/ nursing home and we took two ladies out for lunch today and Olive started making fun of Jill and calling her ugly and that she sticks out her tongue like a baby (she sticks her tongue out because she had a stroke and can't help it) and after taunting her for a while Jill started crying and saying "I'm not a baby, I'm not a baby" after that she looked Olive straight in the eye and said "If you call me a baby again I'll knock your teeth out". By this stage I didn't have a clue what to do so I was trying to comfort Jill and tell her I thought she was pretty while telling Olive it isn't nice to insult people, it was all a bit too traumatic for my liking.
When Jill left I gave her a cuddle and told her I hoped she cheered up. I felt so sad for her but extremely shocked that a little old lady would threaten someone with physical violence. I just didn't think that they would do that, I don't know why I had that thought in my head I mean they are people if someone teased me I'd fight back as well but just because they were old I assumed that they would all get along and knit and talk about the grand kiddies. Maybe I should stop making assumptions because lets face it they don't help anyone.

Apart from my experiences this morning I've had a pretty good weekend. I have a job interview for a newsagency on friday which I hope to get. Friday I met Fliss and Nat in the city and had a good time shopping and watching tv at David Jones then in the afternoon I met Jennifer and Tim and we headed to the moon and had chips and giggles which was pleasant, after dinner I headed to Blakes and had some wine then headed to Danielles party, had McDonalds and headed to amplifier where I danced the night away until 5am and I wasn't grumpy at all which rarely happens I don't know I was just feeling really good I don't have an specific reason for it I think it was just a mixture of having a good time throughout the day and nothing bad happening during the night.

Maybe things really are looking up this time. Fingers crossed.

I'm meeting Lee. He's going to kick my behind at an eating contest. I should have learnt by now you don't beat Lee at these things it really is his area of expertise.

My boss gave me no hours this week. I am pissed.

I am sick and grumpy.

I have the tape of House Fliss. We have to watch it when I don't feel like dying in the nose.

A boy kissed me last night and I didn't kiss him back because I don't want physical contact.
Now the last boy that kissed me is a random at the scottsman and things feel tainted.

I've got no deeds to do, no promises to keep
I'm dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep
Let the morning time drop all its petals on me

Life I love you, all is groovy.

Last night was a release. I talked and got emotions out and then I went and saw the tribute to Jimmy and went and put my feet in the water at the art gallery like we used to and I cried and I remembered things and I understood that I am sad now but things are going to get better.
I saw Blake and he made me food and watched cartoons with me and then we had a nap that just turned into sleep and I woke up and I was releived because I had slept and nothing bad had happened and I woke up and things were alright.

I thought of Jimmy.
I thought of my friend.
I thought of my uncle.
And I cried silently so that no one was disturbed.
And everything hurt.
And everything still does.
And I can't talk about it.
And I want my mum to come home but I don't want her to be sad for me.
So I hide behind vices and pretend I am strong.
When really it takes all the strength I have not to fall apart.

3 people.
One month.
Nothing is the same.

My brother got hit by a rock that someone threw out of a car and now his toe is ripped up and broken.

I have spent the last couple of days COVERED in olive brine, the texture of which is very much like mucus. Hello new working environment.

My mum comes home in 12 days and I couldn't be happier.

My aunties dogs are driving me insane.

BAH.